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The Tenets of Companioning the Bereaved

Tenet One

Companioning is about being present to another person’s pain; it is not about taking away the pain.

Tenet Two 

Companioning is about going to the wilderness of the soul with another human being; it is not about thinking you are responsible for finding the way out.

Tenet Three

Companioning is about honoring the spirit; it is not about focusing on the intellect.

Tenet Four

Companioning is about listening with the heart; it is not about analyzing with the head.

Tenet Five

Companioning is about bearing witness to the struggles of others; it is not about judging or directing these struggles.

Tenet Six

Companioning is about walking alongside; it is not about leading or being led.

Tenet Seven

Companioning is about discovering the gifts of sacred silence; it is not about filling up every moment with words.

Tenet Eight

Companioning is about being still; it is not about frantic movement forward.

Tenet Nine

Companioning is about respecting disorder and confusion; it is not about imposing order and logic.

Tenet Ten

Companioning is about learning from others; it is not about teaching them.

Tenet Eleven

Companioning is about compassionate curiosity; it is not about expertise.

Source: Companioning the Bereaved: A Soulful Guide for Caregivers, Alan E. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

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